New House and New Medicine

I'm finally sitting down and finding time to write a blog....unfortunately, it's because I'm not feeling well tonight! I have no idea what happened, but I was fine all day and then tonight I got very nauseous and am running a low-grade fever. Blah! I honestly think all the craziness of the past couple months is just catching up with me.

I hadn't said much about our house finding process, but am so excited that we did find a house that we love! We'll be closing on it at the end of the month and moving in during the first week of August! It's the perfect little house for us.

It's 3 bedroom and 2 bath and has all of the things we had talked about wanting in a home. We were blessed to find it after it had only been on the market for a few days and were even more blessed by the fact that the people were motivated sellers and we got a great deal! My absolute favorite part of the house is the big fenced-in backyard! I'm envisioning many get-togethers with friends and family, many afternoons of playing with my nieces, and even seeing my own babies play in that yard.

Which bring me to the next thing on my mind tonight...

As I mentioned a while back, I'm taking a "low-dose" fertility med right now and we're trying to get pregnant "on our own". To be honest, the last few months haven't been promising at all. Even though doctor's have told me that it would be difficult for me to conceive, I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it and it still crushes me when things don't go well. I had a few months of strange and even non-existent cycles. I saw my regular OB here in Indiana and asked about a different medicine that I hadn't taken before. We decided that we might as well give it a try! So I'm now on something new. I had a progesterone level done that revealed that I did actually ovulate this month, so that's a good sign. I know it's a long-shot, but I'm really hoping that this is the medicine that will work for me.

Basically, I guess what I'm saying is that we're not doing any major treatments, but I'm still praying and believing for a miracle. Are you still believing and praying with us?! Please add it to your prayer list. We know that what we need is a complete intervention by God. We'll give Him all the glory when our prayers are answered!!!

The Absent Blogger

I've been MIA for SO long!!! This is a quick catch-up post on life as we know it...

1. Where in the world are Jacob and Erica?
We're now back in Indiana! Yay! The move happened so quickly and I've been totally overwhelmed with the transition, which is why I haven't blogged lately. Jacob found out about a possible job back in Lafayette that he could be transferred to and within a few weeks, we were here! We're currently in temporary housing in a furnished apartment and it took until now to get our internet working, which is the second reason I haven't blogged. We're house hunting and planning to buy a house in the next few months. In the meantime, all of our "stuff" is in storage.

2. Did I "de-friend" you on facebook?
NO! I closed my facebook for a little while. It was nothing personal against anyone, I just needed a break. There was so very much going on in my life that I just didn't want to complicate it more. God had been dealing with me for awhile on letting go of facebook for a bit to re-group and re-focus. Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I feel released to come back!

3. How is Jacob's new job?
Wonderful!! He's happy, I'm happy, life is good! :)

4. What are we doing about our fertility process?
We're kind of on hold for now. I'm taking some low-dose medicine and we're trying on our own, but not having any major or invasive treatments. As soon as we're settled in a house we'll see a fertility specialist here and also start the adoption process. I actually got pregnant on Tamoxifen in March and had a very early miscarriage, so I'm hopeful that despite all odds and all medical reasoning, I CAN get pregnant during this "wait" time! Keep praying!!! God is good!

5. WHAT?! You miscarried?
Yes I did, while we were in Florida. I hadn't mentioned it yet because it all happened very quickly and I was trying not to focus on it too much. I had just gotten a positive test when I started spotting and then really cramping and bleeding. I didn't see a doctor at the time, I was only about 5 weeks pregnant and was on vacation. After I got home, I saw my doctor to follow-up. It was heartbreaking on one level and also gave me some hope that there's still a chance for us to have biological children.

6. Are you going back to teaching?
At this point, I'm not planning to return. I don't want to work full-time at this time and am excited to be able to keep my nieces a couple days a week. If a part-time teaching position fell into my lap, I would definitely be interested, but I'm not actively seeking a position. I'm planning to start doing a little bit of in-home childcare starting once we have a house.

7. What's new in our life?
Well first and most exciting....Jacob and I are going to be "Uncle Jay-Jay" and "Aunt Etty" again!!! We'll be getting a new niece or nephew on the Crum side of the family this winter. Sarah and Adam are expecting and are due in December. We can't wait to add another little one to the family!

Next and also super exciting, my good friend and fellow blogger just had her twins! They are beyond precious and I'm head-over-heels in love with them both already. I got to meet them the other day and while they're still in NICU and could use your prayers as they grow bigger and stronger, they have no major health problems and are just perfect! Here they are...

You can follow their progress and read Destiny's story at her blog, just click here!

My next piece of exciting news....my sweet niece Bristol is on the move! She's crawling all over the place and is so much fun right now! I'm so happy to be home and have so much time to spend with both her and Brenna. Brenna is also very excited to have us home!

Stay tuned in the next couple days for a post about our last trip to Tennessee with the Crum family....it was great fun!!!

Life As I Know It...

As promised, here's the "more info" about our most current attempts at getting pregnant!

First, let me say that for those of you who have been through the full gamut of treatment, I realize that this isn't the "worst" that there is. For those of you who haven't, it's not fun, but when you really want a baby, it's not all that bad!

This is what my life looks like right now....

Okay, not my whole life, but at least a portion of it!!

In the morning, I do an injection in my stomach. I do this one myself because since it's in my belly, I can see to do it. It's not bad at all, although it is leaving bruises. This is a micro-dose injection of Lupron. (This is the same medication that I was given an injection of a year ago to induce a menopause-like state. However, in this much smaller dose it works differently.) The point of the Lupron is to keep me from ovulating on my own, which means they can "stimulate" for more days and allow more follicles to mature. Like I said, this shot is in my stomach and I use a very small needle. Actually I use this needle...

It's only about a 3/4 inch needle and it's similar to those used for insulin injections.

Then each night we do a second injection. I say "we" because I can't do this one by myself. It's given in my "hip" (which really means my butt!) It's a much larger needle and it hurts much worse!! As you can see from the first picture, I'm mixing 2 vials of dissolvent solution with 4 amps of medication. 4 amps of HMG is the most that they will give me for an IUI, so it's a pretty high dose. Oh and each of those tiny amps of medicine costs $30. Therefore, I'm injecting $120 worth of medicine each night!! This could continue for anywhere between 8 and 12 days! Yikes! (All of our Christmas money plus some is going to fund this attempt!)

The hope is that it will help to stimulate multiple follicles instead of just one or two. Like I said, Jacob does this shot for me each night. He's pretty good and most of the time it's not too bad. I'm sore in the injection spots the next day, but it's nothing major. And because we're currently out of practice on it, the last few days have been kind of tough! Here's the larger needle that we use for the night time shot.

It's a 1 & 1/2 inch needle. The lady at the pharmacy said "Are you sure this is right? Do you realize that this is a really BIG needle?" Yes I do, and thank you for pointing that out!! :)

So, that's it, that's life as we know it! I'll be going in every other day for blood work and an ultrasound to monitor how quickly I'm stimulating. When the follicles are ready, I'll be given a different shot to force my body to ovulate. Then we'll have an IUI. Please be praying that this goes according to God's plan!

Ultrasound and IUI

Just to update everyone on where we are with our fertility "journey"...

I had an ultrasound on Wednesday that showed that this new medication had fixed the problem with my uterine lining. The lining was very good. However, I just have one good follicle, and it was a VERY good size. There aren't really any other smaller follicles on either side. Although most "normal" people get pregnant with one follicle, and it's completely possible, I still am just not responding well to ovulation induction. We will, however, still have an IUI this month (probably tomorrow morning).

In the bigger picture, the fact that I'm only having one follicle at a time is alarming to me because of the test on my egg supply a few months ago. I sort of went into panic-mode! I had hoped that the scar tissue had been most of the problem and that I would respond better to medication after the surgery, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

Jacob and I are considering our options for going forward with treatment and trying to decide how to balance the financial burden of IVF with the scary thought that our time to conceive may be limited. Please pray with us over the next several weeks that God would give us a clear direction as to what we should do next.

By the way, I know that I'm kind of jumping the gun with this since we are still doing an IUI this month, and it's completely possible that I could get pregnant. We just have to plan ahead and decide where to go if it doesn't work so that we can begin the process of saving, getting a loan, finding $15,000 on the roadside, winning the lottery (which we don't play), getting on a game show, you know....that sort of thing!

Thank you all for your support and prayers through this entire process! We can't say enough how much we appreciate it...by the way, we're open to suggestions, advice, and opinions!!! Feel free to comment here or send me an email (ericabcrum@gmail.com) or facebook message!

Oh and....if you're not yet "following" my blog, please become a "follower" so that I know you're reading!! Just go down the screen and click on "Follow" on the right-hand side. :)