By this point, tears were rolling down my face and I suddenly got the strangest urge. If you haven't lost a child, this will sound weird to you. If you have, maybe you've felt the same thing and thought yourself crazy for it! I had the sudden strong urge to lay on her grave. This wasn't at all sensible because the gravesite isn't yet grown over with grass and it was muddy and dirty and I had no blanket. Since I was getting ready to drive 6 1/2 hours in the car, that would make for an uncomfortable car ride. But I literally had to force myself to turn and walk away. Everything inside me screamed to lay down and get as close as I possibly could to my Kinley. Her entire life on earth had been lived as close to me as humanly possible, literally growing inside of me. Now I can't get close enough, I just wanted to be as close as I could. Of course, I know she's not there. I'm as close to her in Tennessee as I would be lying on that grave, but at the moment no rational thought made sense. It took all of my strength to walk away with tears steaming down my face.
When I got in the car I started thinking of what I would give for just one more day of her growing inside me. One more day to feel her kick, to know she hears my voice, to tell her that I love her, and to dream about holding her, kissing her face, and bringing her home with me. I'd give almost anything in the world for just one day, even one hour, with her living and moving inside me.
So, that brings me to my challenge for you. If you're pregnant, cherish the moment that you have. I'd take back even the most miserable day of my pregnancy! I know pregnancy's not always pleasant or comfortable, but take a moment to enjoy the fact that you're carrying a life. Soak in every moment. Talk to your baby, read to your baby, wake your husband up to feel those midnight kicks. I know there are days that you just wish it was over, but treat every day as if it's the last day you get with your child. Leave a comment and let me know how you're making today a special day in your pregnancy.
If you're a Mommy already, kiss your babies one extra time tonight when you put them in bed. Hold them just a little longer, the laundry and the dusting can wait. Let them stay up a little later, shut off the television, and soak in the beautiful MIRACLES that God has given you. Turn off the computer, leave the cell phone at home, and spend a day with your children. Don't take your blessings for granted. Mommies, leave a comment and let me know how you're going to take an extra moment to enjoy your children.
Finally, for those of you who, like me, are still longing and praying for a child to hold, I want to pray for you. I want to lift you up and believe with you! Leave me a comment or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and tell me your story. I'm believing for God's miracles for each one of us.