And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Quick Update...

Just a quick update for those who have asked if Jacob and I are able to do an IUI yet or what our plan is at this point...

I took Clomid this month and planned to have an IUI about a week ago. I had an ultrasound on day twelve, and had several small follicles but only one "lead" or mature follicle. My uterine lining was also too thin. Although the doctor wasn't overly concerned about this, Jacob and I decided that we just couldn't put the money into a "long shot" IUI. We decided to cancel the procedure.

Although this cycle isn't necessarily a complete bust, it's not a great month for us either. I was disappointed with the results of the Clomid. They will be switching me to a new medication next month and we'll try again!!

By the way, instead of the IUI, we spent a little bit of that money to go to a hotel in Louisville and spend a little quality time together....so nice!

Thank you all for your prayers for us and for being so concerned!! It really does mean so very much to have so many people reading the blog and letting us know that you're thinking of us and praying for us!

On a completely different note, I know I haven't been blogging much lately. I've been blessed to be able to spend quite a bit of time at home with my sister and her sweet new addition!!! It's too hard to put Bristol down long enough to type a blog. :) I love being here to snuggle with her! And my sweet Brenna girl turns 4 tomorrow! It's so hard to believe that she's growing up so quickly!!! She's so very entertaining and just precious beyond belief. I love my two sweet nieces so much!!!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

October 15th


Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Please take a few moments today to remember those families who have experienced the loss of a child. It's a loss that is like none other and a hurt that runs so very deep. It's a pain that stays with you for your entire life. Losing a child means that you will always wonder, always wish, always long to have them. At 7:00 pm families across the U.S. will light candles in remembrance of the babies they have loved and loss. Please join us and take a few moments to pray for those families who are currently in the midst of this storm and those who are in different stages of the healing process.

Here are some of the babies I'm honoring on this day and whose families I'm remembering and praying for...

McKinley Rebecca Crum
Baby Snouwaert
Braxton Lee Peters
Samantha Bowling
James Neal Loman
Audrey Hope Harmon
Avery Thomas Harmon
Bristol Sparks
Johnathan Allen McCrone
Zachary Robinson
As well as many babies lost to miscarriage whose names we'll know in heaven!

We love you and miss you sweet babies!! You've each left your mark on this world and changed us for the better. We'll see you again soon, but until then we'll remember you here!!!

(BTW, I'm so sorry if I forgot someone!! I tried to go through everyone I could think of, but I'm afraid I forgot someone!!! If I did, email me and I'll add your baby too!)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Bristol Rae

We welcomed my sweet niece into the world on Thursday October 7th, and she is perfect!!!

Bristol Rae arrived earlier than planned, but she is healthy and doing well. She weighed 5 pounds 15 ounces and was 20 inches long. (She has long feet and hands, and I think she'll be tall like her daddy!!) It's a pure joy to be back home spending some time with her. She's a true blessing!

I know that most people probably know what a blessing it is to have a healthy new baby, but when you have had a pregnancy or infant loss or have dealt with infertility, it's even more real to you! I knew when my niece Brenna was born that she was a blessing and I loved her beyond words!! BUT, I had no idea how much of a true miracle she was and I probably took for granted the blessing that she truly was. I never considered that something could go wrong with the pregnancy or birth...I was naive!

With Bristol, I prayed HARD through the pregnancy and especially during the end when there were some small complications (low fluid mostly). I also prayed all through the c-section and felt a true relief when she was here. I felt different when Bristol was born, it was as if I took a moment to soak in how incredible it was.

I hope that through reading my blog maybe some of you who haven't gone through what Jacob and I have will relate a little more. I hope that maybe the next time you hold your new baby girl/boy, niece/nephew, or grandchild you'll soak in the blessing a little more and stop to think about what a miracle it is to have everything go well and to have a healthy baby!!

Here's our sweet girl...

Bristol and I the first time I held her!! She's just about 2 hours old....isn't she just BEAUTIFUL already?!

Meeting big sister


My beautiful girls!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hannah

I've been reading lately from the book of 1 Samuel. The story of Hannah has been calling to me for a few weeks, and I've read it over and over. One of the books I was reading referenced Hannah's story, and I felt compelled to read it. Although I've heard the story a million times before, it struck me differently at this stage in my life.

The Bible says that God had closed Hannah's womb. While she was unable to have children, her husband's other wife, Peninnah gave their husband several sons and daughters. The Bible tells us that Peninnah taunted and provoked Hannah about not having children. To the point that Hannah would be reduced to tears and refuse to eat.

I had to put myself in Hannah's shoes for a minute, not only is she struggling with her own infertility, but she's also being made fun of and taunted for it by the "other woman". Infertility hurts....it's hurts every time you think about it, it hurts every time you see a pregnant woman or a tiny new baby, it hurts when people mean to help but say the wrong thing, it just hurts. To add to the top of that hurt the fact that someone else is mocking you for it would be devastating! How awful!

Hannah became so upset on one of their yearly trips, that as she got up and went to pray in the tabernacle. While there, the Bible says "Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord." The priest saw her so upset and thought that she must be drunk! That must have been some pretty devastating weeping and sobbing!! Hannah cried out to God and said that if He would bless her with a son, she would give him back to God for his entire life.

Now, originally I was thinking that Hannah meant she would dedicate him to God. (You know like in one of those nice little ceremonies when the preacher prays over the baby and says some nice things and then GIVES the baby back??) Nope, that's not at all what Hannah meant! She really meant that she would give him to God for his whole life. If you read on, you can see what a great sacrifice this must have been for a mother that had longed for many years for a child.

The Bible says that Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son whom she named Samuel. Then Hannah said to her husband, "Wait until the boy is weaned, then I will take him to the Tabernacle and leave him with the Lord permanently." Wait a minute....WHAT?? Permanently?

And that's exactly what Hannah did, she took him and left him in service to the Lord. The Bible even tells us how often she saw her son. It says that every year when they returned to offer their sacrifice she brought him a gift. She saw her son, whom she had longed and prayed for, one time each year! After leaving him, Hannah sings a song of praise to the Lord. It's really quite beautiful, and you should read it if you have a chance (1 Samuel 2). Here's just a sample...

"My heart rejoices in Lord,
The Lord has made me strong.
Now I have an answer for my enemies;
I rejoice because you have rescued me."

Isn't Hannah an amazing woman of God? I've been so challenged be her in the last month or so. Hannah loved God and prayed to Him throughout her infertility. She didn't give up on the Lord, and He didn't forget her. And after receiving her blessing, Hannah remained true to her word and gave her son to God. I'm not sure that I could do that, could you? Do you trust God enough to give Him back the blessings He's given you?

By the way, because of their faithfulness, God blessed Hannah and Elkanah with 5 more children!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Day With My Girl

For those of you who don't know me, I love my niece more than life itself! I know all aunts probably say that, but we have always had a special bond. She's precious beyond words, and we've always been very close.

I was blessed to live with my sister through her pregnancy with Brenna and for the first full year of Brenna's life. I was there for every "first"....first bath, first smile, first step! Even after moving out of their house, I saw her nearly daily. I remember worrying sometimes about being out of town for a day or two in a row because it would mean I wouldn't see her!

After losing Kinley, she was even more of a blessing to me. She brought smiles on many sad days! She kept me occupied and busy and said some of the sweetest things I've ever heard out of the mouth of a child. She was deeply affected by Kinley's death, and still talks about Kinley often. Some days, I've been amazed by her understanding and her acceptance of Kinley's death, and some days I've been crushed by her confusion and deep hurt over the loss. She's probably grieved more "normally" and in more of a healthy way than any of us. She hurts deeply and then moves on quickly. (She blessed us all by sharing a dream she had of Kinley, click here to read that story.)

When we found out we were moving, I was crushed to be leaving both of my babies behind, Kinley buried at the gravesite chosen because of it's close proximity to our home, and Brenna! Since we've moved, Brenna has most definitely been the hardest to be away from (sorry family, but I know you already knew it was true!) I am so excited to be home now helping out and anxiously awaiting the arrival of Brenna's baby sister, and it means a lot of extra time with my girl too! On Saturday, we had a "special" day and spent some quality time together!!

We had a blast going to Cayden's first birthday party and spending some time at the pumpkin patch. To top off the day, she climbed up on my lap yesterday evening and said "I love you so much Etty! We had such a GREAT day together!" She melts my heart!!! So, here are some photos of our fun.....tell me she isn't too cute for her own good??

Always such a little poser!


Me with my girl!!
She's a girly-girl, who is strangely obsessed with bugs! She found a caterpillar in the corn maze.