It was one year ago in August that we were told that if we didn't do IVF within one year, we may not have children. Of course there were many ups and downs over that year and we were later told that IVF might not even work. Still, that urgency to at least try before this August was constantly nagging at me. There were multiple times that we were ready to move forward with IVF. We had at one point decided that February or March of 2011 was definitely the time we would try IVF. But that time came and we just didn't feel the release from God to go ahead with it. We prayed and we never felt like God was giving us the go ahead. Again in March we were told that we needed to do IVF quickly. The second opinion doctor was very clear "Don't mess around with rounds of clomid and don't WAIT!"
In addition, we had seriously considered adoption. In fact, we had even met with the adoption agency in Tennessee and gotten the paperwork to start the process. I was praying that if we were not to move forward with the adoption process at this time that God would just close the door. Just a couple weeks after meeting with the agency in Tennessee, we got the word that we were moving to Indiana. For me that was a door closed, at least for the time being.
But by this summer, I have to admit that I was in a bit of a panic under the surface. In July, I went to visit my Mom, aunt, and sister-in-law at kid's camp. On the way home, I was pleading with God about what our next step should be. I was ready to move ahead with something. I was specifically asking God to tell me if we should go ahead with IVF (like now) or if we should move ahead with adoption. I got a clear (almost audible) answer, but I didn't like it. God was clearly telling me to WAIT. My first instinct was to argue with Him about how long I had already waited and that the doctor's said I have a low ovarian reserve and waiting could mean not having biological children, but for some reason I was very much at peace with His answer. Against all advice and odds, waiting seemed to be the right answer.
And so we waited.... we waited because we didn't feel like God had released us to do anything else, we waited because that's what He asked us to do, we waited because we believe that God is so much bigger than the doctor's advice or my ovarian reserve!
And we didn't have to wait much longer....just a couple months later, we were pregnant! And to add the cherry on top, we got pregnant in August, the very month that the doctor's had told us one year earlier that we MUST do IVF by or we wouldn't have children.
Just a quick word of encouragement....
God does have a plan for your life. He sees you right where you are, and what's better, He sees where you WILL be. Sometimes we get answers from Him that we just don't understand, but no matter how you feel about where He's leading you, He's doing it for your own good. That's so hard to grasp and accept in the moment, but hold on to the fact that He does have a plan!!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
I also want to encourage you that if you're in a season of waiting or if you've been crying out to God for a specific request, find a verse to make your own. Memorize it and claim it. When we first started having fertility trouble, even before having Kinley, I claimed this verse...
"He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9
I memorized it, I read it over and over again, I claimed it! I didn't know how He would do it or when He would do it, but I knew that He would!
Find a scripture that fits your personal circumstance and make it your own!